Health and Relationships

Questions to ask yourself before having sex

You need to have the confidence to work out how you want to respond if sex comes up, and how far to go. Ask yourself if you feel comfortable. Is it the right time, in the right place, and with the right person? Do you really trust the person, and do you feel the same way about one another?

Being in a relationship doesn't mean that you have to have sex. Even if you've done it once or twice, you still need to make sure that your boyfriend or girlfriend is as keen as you each time.

If you think you might have sex, ask yourself the following questions to help you make up your mind:

  • Does it feel right?
  • Do I love my partner?
  • Does he/she love me just as much?
  • Have we talked about using condoms, and was the talk ok?
  • Have we got contraception organised to protect against pregnancy and STIs?
  • Do I feel able to say 'no' at any point if I change my mind, and will we both be OK with that?

If you answer yes to all these questions, the time may be right. But if you answer yes to any of the questions below, it might not be:

  • Do I feel under pressure from anyone, such as my partner or friends?
  • Could I have any regrets afterwards?
  • Am I thinking about having sex just to impress my friends or keep up with them?
  • Am I thinking about having sex in order to keep my partner?

It's hard to stay in control if you're drunk. You should never feel under any pressure to have sex, whether it's from your partner or your friends. It's a big decision and you need to feel ready and in control.

Source: NHS

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